Moving out

Do you remember a few months back I wrote a blog post about how everything in my life was suddenly and uncontrollably changing? Well, a similar thing has happened, except this time...thank goodness...it's all positive and has all been completely my conscious decision. I have left home and am now living in Brisbane with three of my friends (two of which I was friends throughout high school with, and one of their friends who I met for the first time a week before we moved in, and I luckily instantly become really great friends with her as well). In March I will be starting university at Griffith University studying Journalism for a few years, which I am really looking forward to.

But for now I am just settling into a new home and a new lifestyle – trying to find a new job, survive on internet cafes until our wifi starts up in “10-20 days” (!), not stress too much about money, fall more and more in love with our townhouse's local possum, Kylie, and visit/be visited by the people I love back on the Sunshine Coast (which is only an hour or so away so it’s not hard at all). So far everything has been going really well, we have been in the new house for only about a week. I went back to my old home for the weekend, and my boyfriend, Will, has come and stayed with me for the majority of the days that I have been down here…so really, I haven’t felt too homesick and it therefore hasn’t been a hard move at all. Yet haha. I properly listened to Broods for the first time a few months ago with one of my friends who I am now, coincidentally, living with. The song Mother and Father stood out to me upon first listen...at the time I think it resonated with me because of the line:

"I don't want to wake up lonely, I don't want to just be fine" 

I had recently gone through a breakup and hadn't met Will at this point so I think that lyric really connected with my 'fears' of the time. Ugh that sounds a bit wanky...sorry. ANYWAYYYY I think I connect with this lyric in a completely different way now. Living away from my home, being away from everything that I have gotten so used to over my last 17 years...although I am not homesick right now, and this is honestly up there with the happiest I have ever felt, there is still that fear that I am going to wake up one morning and feel a bit alone, a bit homesick, and 'just fine'.

To tell the truth, this song really just opens my eyes to all the emotions I could potentially feel in the future if I begin to get home sick. I miss my Mum, and my Dad, my boyfriend - Will, my dog - Olive, Sarah and free wifi...but I'm okay, I still get to be around all of the people I miss every week when we visit each other, and there's been enough on my mind throughout the move to distract me from any real negative emotions. But it's dumb to fear and emotion I don't yet feel...I shouldn't be scared of feeling an emotion I may or may not feel in the future. Instead I should enjoy the moment that I'm in, enjoy this new 'adulthood' of living away from home, and just not fear an emotion that I may never even feel.
Despite not letting these super emotional and relatable lyrics bother me, I still really love and appreciate this song, it's really worth having a listen because it's beautiful.

- Stella xxx