Winterbourne - Our Love's A Lie

I wrote this is 20 minutes, so don't judge me too harshly. I logged off social media 2 hours ago, telling people I was going to bed. I thought I was going to bed. But then I started watching some shitty TV show. There was something one of the characters said that wasn't a very significant line but for some reason it stuck with me. I'm going to be a bitch here and not tell you what the line was, I don't know why...perhaps so I am keeping at least some of this to myself.

I hate showing negative emotion. I don't like people knowing that I am sad. I want to look strong and I enjoy putting up a facade that I am unaffected and too strong in who I am to let others wear me down.
But sometimes that is not the case. I have distracted myself over months of emotional torture and persuaded myself that I am fine. I am fine. It's not a facade this time round, I am okay. There are people in my life who have made me okay again. But tonight has been rough, for no apparent reason.

I feel like it would be stupid to waste this emotion when I could put the energy into writing. I was going to write about Selena Gomez's live performance of 'Heart Wants What It Wants' at the AMA's. Not because it affected me at all, because I'm not going to lie...it didn't. I'm not a fan of Selena Gomez at all, but I was just going to talk about how much I respect her for performing such an emotional song for such a wide audience, especially after all she went through to create that song (breakup. Justin. Sad. Heartbreak. :( boys suck).

So I started talking someone who I knew could make me happy and distract me from being sad, and I listened to Winterbourne's 'Our Love's A Lie' whilst doing so. From the first time I heard this song it really made an impact on me. And this song seems to keep popping up, which I think is less of a coincidence, and more of a sign. I think it is apparent when listening that the lyrics come from a deep emotional place in the songwriters past. The boys do an amazing job at connecting with an audience of people who may have experienced the themes that prevail in the song.

It has a really fun, uplifting, festival vibe to it which I find super interesting because it contradicts the lyrics almost completely. I love when songs do this. Because it is almost like the emotion itself...melancholy.
The song is all about a great love that falls apart and is questioned. Now, yeah, ugh, super depressing, love sucks, but if you have experienced something similar you will be able to agree that much like the contradiction of the happy sound to sad lyrics...the experience of lost love shares a similar contradiction. All the experiences whilst being in love were happy and made you and the significant other happy...but the fact that it all fell apart can cause you to feel unbearably sad. For a long time as well...as suggested by the lyric "pull me from this never ending sadness".
Despite this, and despite my relation with this song...it doesn't make me sad. I think mainly because I connected it to a time when I was happy...so instead of focussing on the lyrics, I focus on what it reminds me of, which is smoked salmon, stolen cups and lost car keys.

Now this is has all been super depressing and I apologise so much for that. But do you want to know what's even more sad...the fact that Winterbourne are playing at a local venue in a couple of weeks BUT IT'S AN OVER 18 SHOW. "Our Love's A Lie" and my life's a joke.

- Stella xx